You are so Blessed!

If you woke up this morning
with more health than illness,
you are more blessed than the
million who won't survive the week.



If you have never experienced
the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment,
the agony of torture or
the pangs of starvation,
you are ahead of 20 million people
around the world.



If you attend a church meeting
without fear of harassment,
arrest, torture, or death,
you are more blessed than almost
three billion people in the world.




If you have food in your refrigerator,
clothes on your back, a roof over
your head and a place to sleep,
you are richer than 75% of this world.



If you have money in the bank,
in your wallet, and spare change
in a dish someplace, you are among
the top 8% of the world's wealthy.



If your parents are still married and alive,
you are very rare,
especially in the United States.



If you hold up your head with a smile
on your face and are truly thankful,
you are blessed because the majority can,
but most do not.




If you can hold someone's hand, hug them
or even touch them on the shoulder,
you are blessed because you can
offer God's healing touch.



If you can read this message,
you are more blessed than over
two billion people in the world
that cannot read anything at all.



You are so blessed in ways
you may never even know.

PRICELESS

Priceless

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover the night after a business function.

He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits up in bed and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door.">

So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT!...Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, bitch, I'm married!!!".

Broken table - $200
Hot breakfast - $5
Red Rose bud - $3
Two aspirins - $0.25
Saying the right thing, at the right time... PRICELESS

MONEY

Money is magnetic energy.
You are a magnet attracting to you all things,
via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings.



To become a powerful money magnet:

Be clear about the amount of money you want to receive. State it and intend it!
(not how much you can earn, but how much you want to receive).
Fall in love with money.
(most people do not love money, because they don't have enough of it).
Visualize and imagine yourself spending all the money you want, as though you have it already.
Speak, act and think from the mindset of being wealthy now.
(eliminate thoughts and words of lack such as "I can't afford it", "It is too expensive".
Do not speak or think of the lack of money for a single second.
Be grateful for the money you have. Appreciate it as you touch it.
Make lists of all the things you will buy with an abundance of money.
Do whatever it takes for you to feel wealthy.
Affirm to yourself every day that you have an abundance of money, and that it comes to you effortlessly.
Appreciate all the riches around you, including the riches of others. Look for wealth wherever you go, and appreciate it.
Be certain that money is coming to you.
Love yourself and know that you are deserving and worthy of an abundance of money.
Remind yourself everyday that you are a money magnet, and ask yourself often during the day, am I attracting money now or pushing it away with my thoughts.
Always, always pay yourself first from your wage, then pay your creditors.
(in that single act, you are telling the Universe that you are worthy and deserving of more).
Repeat over and over every day, "I am a money magnet and money comes to me effortlessly and easily".
Write out a check to yourself for the sum of money you would like to have and carry it in your wallet. Look at it often.
Do whatever it takes to feel good. The emotions of joy and happiness are powerful money magnets. Be happy now!
Love yourself!
Wealth is a mindset.
Money is literally attracted to you or
repelled from you. It's all about how you think.

Dictionary of Dating

DATING:
The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

EASY:
A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT:
A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND:
A member of the opposite sex who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE
A woman's feeling toward a man that is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."

IRRITATING HABIT:
What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

NYMPHOMANIAC:
A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.

SOBER
A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

ATTRACTION:
The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT:
What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

LAW OF RELATIVITY:
How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.